What to do with the "good dishes"

The first in a new Living Small series of reader Q&As

Hi Friends, I’m trying something new for 2025: An advice column of sorts for paid subscribers. Once a month, I will answer a reader’s question about living small and invite the community to weigh in with ideas too. First up is a question from Lisa about what to do with heirlooms she has inherited, a tricky topic that pushed me to think hard about what was the best solution.

I’m excited to try to help solve more of your problems in the months ahead. Scroll down to the bottom of the post for how to submit your own questions.

Photo by Jasmin Schreiber on Unsplash

Q: My wonderful grandmother died recently, and I have come into possession not only of her wedding china, silver, and crystal, but also sets from her grandmother and a couple of my great-great-(great?)-aunts.

I'm meant to be the person distributing all this stuff among my relatives, but nobody actually wants to use a dozen hand-painted porcelain tea cups, let alone has a good place in their home to keep them. A lot of the stuff is beautiful, maybe valuable (maybe not). It just doesn't feel right to give away Great Great Great Grandma Nettie's wedding china from the mid-19th century, you know? But it's also utterly unnecessary and it's taking up space I don't have. Can you advise? –Lisa

A: Lisa’s question felt particularly timely after reading a recent New York Times article about a set of fine china that had made it through five generations that no one wanted anymore (gift link). The Times did not have any advice about what to do with the dishes, but I’m going to take a stab at it.

Her question also felt personal: My grandparents also left behind a vast collection of fine china and silverware (although not ones passed down through the generations: They purchased theirs secondhand later in life). Practically every relative on my mom’s side received or inherited “good china” from my grandparents, including my sister and I. In addition to multiple sets of everyday dishes, my parents have three very complete sets of fine china and three sets of silver. I dread the decision you now face: What to do with it all? So, I asked my mom what she thought.

These are just the serving pieces from two of the three sets of fine china in my parents’ home.

My mother is much more likely to hold onto sentimental things than I am, so her advice surprised me a little.