The secret to an always-tidy house?

Author and mom of five Courtney Adamo shares her tips.

Courtney Adamo’s home is famously tidy. Courtney’s stylish, white-walled home in Byron Bay, Australia is just 1,400 square feet and home to her family of seven (although one of her kids is off at college). Despite the house’s high density of people per square foot, it always looks spotless in photos.

Courtney has been writing about and sharing her family’s homes online for decades. From the beginning, Courtney’s fans have longed to know how she keeps her home looking picture-perfect. Many others have grumbled that it can’t be “real.”

Courtney and her husband Michael (pictured above) have just published their first book The Family Home, in which they lay out their philosophy of homekeeping and showcase a whole bunch of gorgeous family homes, including their own. After reading the book and speaking with Courtney last month, I believe her home really is this neat most days. And I’m here to tell you how she does it.

The secret to an always-tidy house is chores.

Is there a less sexy word in the English language than ‘chores?’ Are you groaning at the idea that chores are the secret to living small in style? With Courtney’s help, I hope I can explain why this simple, old-fashioned concept might be revelatory for your family.

Despite the followers who can’t believe that a family home is always tidy, Courtney is transparent about the work that goes into her home. She and Michael write, “It takes a lot of effort to manage a family home.” (Emphasis mine.) When Courtney and I chatted via Zoom last month, she told me she vacuums and does laundry every day. If that sounds extreme, please remember, she has five kids and a dog and lives near the beach. But she also told me, “Vacuuming is one of those things that I actually enjoy. I think I might’ve just been born that way.” I deeply relate to this statement, and think she’s onto something about tidiness being ingrained.

I have long had a theory that we all have some innate tolerance for clutter and mess. Some people aren’t impacted by grime or a mess (my late father-in-law did not even seem to see it) and others are unbothered by an abundance of possessions, as long as they are clean and tidy (hi, mom!). Then there are some people who need things to be in order, who require lots of blank space and breathing room to function, and Courtney and I both fall into this camp. For people with the orderly gene, keeping a tidy house is a form of self care. But it can also feel like a burden, if you’re trying to do it all yourself. “It’s tricky because we all have different levels of comfort with that mess,” says Courtney. “I just know that it makes me feel better.”

Courtney’s been a mom a lot longer than I have, and she has five kids to my one, so I quizzed her about how her family manages chores and shares the work of keeping a neat home. I’m sharing some of Courtney’s specific tips below (many of which apply to all homes, not just ones with kids at home), but I think the Adamo family’s tidy home boils down to a few key things:

They’re ruthless about what comes in. Courtney is extremely discerning about what she and her family bring into their home. They also live with a lot less stuff than a typical family of their size. Courtney describes her approach to clutter as “ruthless,” but she’s also taken the time to elevate the everyday things in her home, say by decanting pantry staples and forgoing a sponge in favor of a pretty dish brush. Those little things add up to that curated look the rest of us long for.

They make chores a daily routine. In the Adamo family everyone makes their bed every single day. Courtney does a 20-minute morning tidy-up after the kids leave for school that involves a quick sweep to make sure towels are hung up and nothing is on the floor, and then she starts a load of laundry and vacuums the common areas. Every night, they do their side work to get back to baseline. This isn’t revolutionary, but most people aren’t doing these chores daily.

They split up their domestic work. Michael does all the food shopping and cooking and the yard work; while the children always clear the table and do the dishes. Michael and Courtney expect their kids–even the youngest–to pitch in. Courtney explains that making this happen is a two-part process. First, your home has to be set up, so that they can do their part. (The Family Home is full of examples of ways that homes can be arranged to make chores easier for kids to complete.) This sounds like common sense, but talking with Courtney, I realized that my own apartment is not set up so that my ten-year-old can put away the dishes (the shelves are too high). If you want your kids to help out with chores, you need to set them up to do them autonomously.

Second, getting kids to do chores requires a lot of active parenting. Many parents give up and do things themselves because getting the kids to help is ineffective, time-consuming, and often frustrating. Courtney acknowledges this, but says it’s still worthwhile to get them in the habit. To get kids motivated, she wisely recommends letting kids choose some of their chores. The family also routinely holds meetings to share the full list of household tasks. “This exercise gives our kids a clearer picture of the household’s needs and helps them understand why their contribution is crucial,” she says. Then, they write it down on the calendar (with five kids they have a rotation for who does dinner dishes when).

Courtney and Michael also encourage their older kids to set alarms or let their online calendar remind them of chores instead of their parents. (So smart!) Courtney also believes in the power of a well-placed Post-it note, for example, on the back of their bedroom door. Another tip Courtney shared was to make eye contact and give your child your full attention when asking them to do a chore. As someone who often barks out commands from our tiny kitchen while cooking and wonders why my child isn’t great at following through, this was a big “aha” moment.

Finally and maybe most importantly, they are nice about it all! Courtney was one of the loveliest people I have interviewed in recent memory, so it did not surprise me when she said, “When kids need reminding to do their chores, it’s best to do it in a light-hearted way, no matter how annoyed you are about saying something for the hundredth time.” Words to live by.

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Related reading from the archive:

Why is living small women’s work?

Cleaning my way through my election anxiety

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In The Family Home, Courtney and Michael shared ten impactful daily habits they employ for keeping their home neat and I pulled out five below as a bonus. And we’re giving away a copy of The Family Home to one Living Small reader. To enter, leave a comment below–tell me how you feel about chores.

Excerpted from The Family Home: Inspiring Ideas for a Home Filled with Joy by Courtney and Michael Adamo

5 Impactful Daily Habits For Keeping an Organized Home

1. Vacuum The House Before Beginning Work

See it as a ten-minute morning meditation. Take a deep breath, gather your thoughts and before you know it your house will feel fresh. (It also forces you to pick anything up off the floor that’s been scattered around—so your house is not only clean, but tidy too!)

2. Keep Counters Clear

Don’t allow your kitchen counters or dining table to be the landing space for all the things that come into the house every day. It can be so easy to let a small stack of papers become a large pile of stuff. When you come home, put your keys into a basket or hang them on the hook where they belong—don’t just leave them on the table. If you use your dining table as your desk (like we sometimes do) put away all the work stuff (cables, notepad, pens, computer mouse, etc.) at the end of each working day.

3. Hang Up Coats, Totes And Backpacks On Arrival

We have hooks outside on our covered deck for coats and backpacks. This helps to keep a lot of the clutter from ever coming inside. We also encourage the kids to take their lunchboxes out of their backpacks and bring them into the kitchen. The same rule applies to adults—resist the urge to throw your coat over the dining chair and take a few extra seconds to hang it up.

4. Do A Nightly Regroup

Take five to ten minutes each night before you go to bed to reorganize the house so that you wake up with a tidy house and a fresh slate. Every night after the kids go to sleep, we wipe down counters, fluff the cushions on the sofa, throw the toys back in their baskets, put the toothbrushes back into the cup in the bathroom cupboard, light a candle or burn some palo santo incense. It’s a simple ritual, but it allows us to feel calm before we go to sleep and happy to wake up to an organized house.

5. Put Your Clothes Away At Bedtime

Hang up what you’ll wear again and put anything dirty in the hamper. If you’re prone to leaving clothes in a pile on the floor, hooks on the backs of bedroom doors are really useful.

Courtney Adamo

also writes a lovely newsletter called Motherhood Musings—you should subscribe!

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A Few More Things

The best small space I saw last week was

Christene Barberich

’s 650-square foot cabin featured in her charming newsletter A Tiny Apt and House Beautiful this week. I so appreciate that she and her husband chose to go with low-carbon straw panel construction and build small.

Writing: I got to write about a cool, small-ish house designed by Ben Humphrey of Linework Architecture for Luxe Interiors + Design. Features on architect’s own houses always my favorite stories to write.

Admiring: I got to preview the Heather Taylor Home collection for The Company Store last week. I loved seeing Heather’s cute patterns in my preferred percale at a great price point. And how sweet is this quilt?

One last thing: The robots could never.