Do our kids have too much stuff?

Of course they do. Here's what to do about it.

This week I’m tackling a topic that readers have often brought up, but that I’ve resisted writing about for the last two years: Kid clutter.

I’ve avoided it because I know a lot of readers don’t have kids (and if that’s you, I apologize). But I also shied away from the topic because I spent almost seven years as the lifestyle director at Parents magazine, after which I helped Apartment Therapy launch Cubby, a site for families. I’ve written a lot about how to deal with all the stuff that comes along with having kids. But when I received another reader message about it this week, I decided maybe there was something more to say.

Earlier in my career, I was always writing as a journalist trying to speak to the everyday parent. Now, I’m writing for a community of people actively interested in living small. In earlier writing, I talked about decluttering and organizing; I recommended bins, baskets, and systems. But I believe the real solution to the problem of families' overstuffed homes is not about decluttering: It’s about managing what is coming in.

We buy our kids way too much stuff.

I am genuinely shocked when I see how many toys and clothing other children have. Many families have enough toys for an entire preschool—or two! Some kids have enough clothing to go a whole month without laundry. But it doesn’t have to be like this. Children do not need this much. I think most parents instinctively know this, and yet almost every parent I talk to is overwhelmed by their kids’ material belongings.

This excess is not great for our kids either. Immersing our kids in a world of too-muchness sets them up to be adults who don’t know what is enough. A house or a room that is full to bursting is overstimulating (stressful even). And research has shown again and again that materialism makes us unhappy.

So, why is every parent I know drowning in kid crap? I suspect it’s partly because it’s easier just to say “yes” in the moment when a child wants something. Other times, a toy might be bought to make up for other things parents can’t give, like time. Baby and toddler gear is purchased by busy parents who are stretched thin and hoping to buy a solution to a parenting problem. Loving family members are also, of course, to blame for many of the playthings. And on top of all that, we’ve normalized this excess. I’m probably the only person still shocked by the sheer volume of stuff that children own today. The result of all this is a cycle of consumption that we need to interrupt.

So, I’ve gathered up my best advice for how to reduce the kid clutter: